Bob, the Cowboy (23 Visits)

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A cowboy named Bob was overseeing his herd  in a remote mountainous pasture in Alberta  when  suddenly a brand-new 2017 BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The  driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and  YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly  how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a  calf?"  

Bob looks at the man, who obviously is a  yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure,  why not?" 
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his  Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Apple i phone, and surfs to a NASA  page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on  his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area  in an ultra-high-resolution photo. 
The young man then opens the digital photo  in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,  Germany   .

Within seconds, he receives an email on his  Apple ipad® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then  accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with  email on his Galaxy S5® and, after a few minutes, receives a  response. 
Finally, he prints out a full-color,  150-page report on hishi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the  cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." 
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take  one of my calves," says Bob. 
He watches the young man select one of the  animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk  of his car. 
Then Bob says to the young man, "Hey, if I  can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my  calf?" 
The young man thinks about it for a second  and then says, "Okay, why not?" 
"You're a Member of Parliament for Justin Trudeau's  Government", says Bob. 
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but  how did you guess that?" 
"No  guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though  nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a  question I never asked. You used millions of dollar's worth of equipment trying  to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know shit about  how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a  herd of sheep." 
"Now give me back my dog."